Every Thanksgiving, a bunch of people who have know each other for a really long time meet at a double-secret desert location to hang out for a week of dirt riding, telling lies and abusing each other.
Well, that's a good question. I have never asked any of the old timers since I figure that none of them will be able to remember. This is most likely a direct result of the bar tab for the week, which could accurately be described as "immense".
Whatever you want. Typical things to do would be: drinking, cussing, gambling, creating a variety of loud noises, riding dirt bikes, shooting, crapping behind a bush, going a day or five without a shower, waking up with sand in your shorts, smelling like campfire smoke, or shooting potatoes at Al when he is on the john.
I don't like drinking, cussing, gambling, loud noises, riding dirt bikes, shooting, crapping behind a bush, going a day or five without a shower, waking up with sand in my shorts, smelling like campfire smoke, or having Al shoot potatoes at me while I'm on the john. Will I have fun?
No. You will probably have more fun at this site instead:
http://www.watching_liver_slide_down_the_wall.org/
Tell Chester we said "hi".
It's all in who you know, and what you are willing to put up with.
Oddly enough, it has happened.
Here is Bob's original map that we used for years. It predates Yahoo Maps, so there is a certain lack of detail:
X is camp. All the rest is desert.
Maybe one or two. They are identified here.
Is it true that the desert is "clothing optional"?
This question has complex dependencies based on a variety of factors:
- Are you referring to our clothing or your clothing?
- Do you have one or two X chromosomes?
- Is Eddy around?
- Oh look, your triple margarita is nearly empty. I'll have Leigh make you another!
If you are unsure, the safest approach is to ask one of the men. They have selflessly poured years of personal research into topics like these, and would be glad to proffer an opinion, if asked politely.
Yes.
They refer to a certain part of the male anatomy, as in the following campfire exchange:
Glen: "When I finally landed, I mashed my yarbles into the gas tank so hard that they dented it. Man, they swelled up the size of grapefruits. I couldn't get my pants off for two days."
Bob: "Jesus Moose! More like they swelled up the size of Grape-Nuts. Who wants a Bloody Mary?"
Where can I find my 'yarbles'?
If you are married (or Mary'd), they are probably at home in a jar. What do you need those things for anyway?
How can I learn to speak like Eddy?
Ah yes, some people have the luck to speak with beautiful foreign accent. An accent makes a woman prettier, and a man more charming. Of course, Eddy is from Boston, which is something else entirely.
How can I learn to write like Eddy?
We're not exactly sure. We're still trying to decode messages from two years ago. Scientists expect a breakthrough any day now.
What should I bring for evening wear?
An excellent question. Coveralls are a great choice: windproof, warm, and never out of style. Dark colors are 'in' this fall. Don't forget some formal wear in case you want to take limo into town to hit the craps table. And speaking of the craps table, the croupier does not appreciate it when you fling the dice at his head.
My bread maker has quit working. Can I do appliance repair in the desert?
Why yes, we can. Appliance repair is a popular desert activity. Most small appliances can be fixed quite effectively by shooting them with #4 buckshot. Broken watches and other very small devices are usually repaired from long range with a .22 sporting a telescopic sight. If you still own an Apple Newton, we can upgrade its handwriting recognition software "while you wait" using a .44 magnum hollow point.
Is any of this true, or do you just make it up?
I'm going to defer this answer to one of our long-time desert anarchy members:
"Well, my good friend Al would tell you that exaggeration is an essential component of any story worth repeating. I would have to say that everything contained herein is basically true, except for the events where the statute of limitations has not yet run out, which should be treated as excursions of artistic license."
-- Gov. Schwarzenegger
03 Apr 2004
